We pretend we don’t see them. We act like they don’t matter. We tell ourselves we can fix them down the road. Why all the stories we tell ourselves about red flags boil down to one thing.

In Episode 10, Nancy talks about the core of what happens when you don’t heed red flags – you lie to yourself, which makes it harder and harder to trust yourself as time goes on.

When you ignore your own intuition about warning signs in the people you date, you prove to yourself that you don’t have your own back. This is the most pernicious effect of not paying attention to red flags in midlife dating. Sooner or later, you may stop trusting yourself entirely.

You’ll tell yourself that you’re just “bad at dating” or that “there’s no one for you out there” when in truth, you’re sabotaging yourself by not trusting your instincts and standing by your convictions.

In this episode, Nancy breaks down the difference between red, green, and white flags in dating and relationships, and why it’s so important to adhere to our own definitions. Red = hard pass. Green = all systems go. White = pause and consider.

A well-known red flag in the dating world is the all-too-common phenomenon of ghosting. Nancy delves into the nuances between ghosting, flakiness, and a total lack of connection. Getting clear about the stories you’re telling yourself about the dating experiences you're having will help you make better choices next time.

Episode 10 also highlights a key ingredient in finding love during midlife — an openness to new experiences, both inside and out. It's not just about avoiding the dating drama. It’s about opening up to the good vibes that are coming your way.

[4:44] “That really is one of the secrets to success when it comes to finding love in the middle of life. You need to be open to something new.”