The Truth About Self-Love 

Being open to change and growth is the key to dating in your 50s

I like to say that everyone you love is part of your love story. That includes your inner-circle friends, the beloved members of your family, and importantly, yourself.

Self-love is the rock-solid foundation of a mindset ready for romance. Everyone advocates it. We all say that we believe in it. But when it comes down to understanding how and why to love ourselves, are we willing to do the hard work to achieve it?

Self-love is not only about loving every part of who you are right now. It also means loving yourself enough to change the things that no longer serve you.

Love is a transformative force of nature. And no matter what age you are when you find it, it will turn your world around. Being ready for and open to the change love brings is an absolute requirement when it comes to finding lasting love in midlife.

But changing parts of YOURSELF is an even bigger challenge than being open to the life-changing aspects of true love. Getting rid of the obstacles that stand in your way to receiving true, romantic love may be the greatest gift you ever give yourself.

Overcome the Challenge of Change

Shedding old patterns and worn-out habits, ending the cycles of self-sabotage, pulling yourself out of the rut of complacency – those can be among the hardest changes to make.

If you’re ready to start loving yourself, take a close look at your life. See the behaviors and beliefs that no longer ring true for you. Be brave enough to face them head on.

Cultivate a Mindset for Love

Whenever you want something new, different, and better to show up in your life, the best way to start is in small increments:

  • If you want more movement in your daily life, start by taking short walks up and down your street.
  • If you want better sleep, start by turning off screens an hour earlier tonight.
  • If you want more interaction, reach out to a friend for a brief chat, just to re-establish that connection.
  • If you want more peace of mind, meditate for five minutes.
  • If you want to meet someone new, check out a few dating apps and see who might be available in your area.

The same is true for making more space for love in your life. Start with small steps and see where they lead you.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What old beliefs about myself can I let go of to create the possibility of meeting someone new?
  • Is there an experience I’ve had that stands out in my mind and makes me think I can’t trust myself in a relationship?
  • How can I reframe that experience as a learning opportunity rather than a barrier to getting what I want?
  • Are there patterns of my own behavior that I am willing to change to try a new way of being in a relationship?
  • I love who I am, and I’m always looking for new ways to grow and evolve – so what aspects of my life can I explore to be happier, healthier, and more fulfilled?

Open Yourself to Love

Embracing change – in every part of your life -- sends an energetic message into the world that YES, you are ready for new things. You are not hiding away, mired in self-doubt. You are not resistant to trying different ways of being. You are bold, and eager, and life lights you up.

Honor Your Journey and Explore Self-Discovery

Having a heart poised for discovery is the first and most important step to a mindset shift that will attract love. When you develop this mindset and heartset, it prepares you to see, feel, and receive the love you want.

Ready for Love

You respect yourself when you evolve and grow.

You honor who you are when you explore who you’ve become.

You are ready for love when you love yourself enough to be honest when parts of you are calling for change.

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Photography By Kelsey Kurtis